My struggle with Babies

My struggle with Babies

I cannot believe I am actually writing this. I’ve NEVER EVER wanted kinds since I was young and when I meet my husband I hit the jackpot because he didn’t want them too. Well…..

Now that I cannot have one at 34 due to my cancer, I am seeing all my friends having babies left right and center. Everyone is popping them out and all of a sudden I am becoming an Aunty or Tsa in Maltese how we say it. It’s really getting me down. I wonder what my baby would look like. Would he get my Dad’s baby blue eyes? Would he get my green eyes? Would he get my husband’s eyes in brow? My curly hair? Would a generation skip and he did get those big blue eyes my dad had and Pete’s Nonna’ has? You can stair are them for days. I wonder if he would be a dark colour like my father was, I use to be dark skin but lightened over time.

But am conflicted. Babies are a lot of hard work but mother’s say it’s worth it – yeah well perhaps wait till they’re 13/14 years old is all i CAN think of! I don’t know. Maybe it’s because everyone has had a baby this year and I am older I feel like I am loosing out. But I will love my nieces and nephews like my own.

i chose a career over a baby which was fine, now I have current issues I am facing muc bigger than a baby. a 32 year old one. I’ll save that for my next post.

Lots of Love

My Leo … My Best friend …

My Leo … My Best friend …

I have always wanted a Bull Terrier for so long but I wanted to adopt one but they’re usually snapped up pretty quickly for some reason when they’re in the pound but on one fateful day, I saw an ad in Western Sydney, 2 hours north of where I live, that two bull terrier pups were up for adoption but I had to be quick because they were scheduled to be euthanised. I told my husband this and we had just moved into our new house and started to prep for a dog but just not so soon but I begged him please can we go and so we set off.

When we got there, I seen this gangly, long legged looking puppy trying to be matched with this massive viscous German Shepherd and i BEGGED the lady to stop them from pairing them because it was horrible to watch, so they took the pup back to its filthy cage filled with newspaper, shit everywhere and just poor conditions. I asked to see the bull terriers and she took me back to the long legged but small puppy. He definitely wasn’t a bull terrier more like a pitbull terrier but I fell in love straight away. I was in love. Pete wasn’t sure and I had already said to him, I’m going to call him Leo after Leonardo diCaprio, my favourite actor. I felt so sorry for his sister but I really wanted a boy and I often think about her.

On the way home, Leo took full advantage of my air conditioned car and slept the whole way home. He was the perfect fur child. He is the best 500$ I’ve ever spent.

When we arrived home, we took him on a tour of the house and showed him every room before he bolted out the backdoor as soon as we opened it and he just rolled around on the green, soft fresh grass.

Leo is my everything. He is not a registered “service dog” but to me he is. If I am feeling anxious I hold his paw and he will just lick my hand non stop and give me unlimited kisses if I need. If I am sick from treatment, he will wait outside my ensuite on all four paws and wait for me at the door. He sleeps with me everynight either at my feet or snuggling up to me. I love my dog so much and to think that there is so many animals that are just as beautiful as him stuck in pounds kill me ready to be put to be put to sleep.

If you’re looking for a furry friend I encourage you to do so if you’re capable to look after him/her. They’ll love you unconditionally and they’re great for PTSD. They’re always happy to see you, they do not judge you, they love you and just want to be with you.

Please adopt. Don’t shop.

Love Petite Vibrant.

Chronic Fatigue – How I See It – My Truth

Chronic Fatigue – How I See It – My Truth

Chronic Fatigue – How I See It – My Truth

My Story

Among the many issues, we have to deal with is constant fatigue. No wonder it gets more difficult to carry out the normal day to day activities, like updating content on the blog for instance. Anyway, we still do our best to do what we have to do and prove the disease wrong. There are days when I wake up and feel strong but sometimes it feels like you’ve been up all night. Sometimes it is difficult to understand where all the fatigue is coming from despite being in bed all day.

Let’s look at it this way, cancer and chemotherapy are an interesting combination to face against our body cells. Cancer cells eat away the body’s useful cells while chemotherapy attempts to burn away those cancer cells and ends up burning a bit of the remaining useful body cells. Because of all that we are forced to reduce our normal activities at least until we heal and our bodies regenerate new cells to function normally again. So you see, they say it gets worse before it gets better.

Staying in bed for long hours sounds like a fun activity but the bedsores are not something to look forward to because they leave the body protesting. It’s like spending hours in one position. Combining the fatigue from chemo with the moments of sickness and throwing up only drains up the body faster. When you lose more than you are gaining, it is most likely that you get fatigued.

Well, I know what you are wondering. How do you make it easier to manage? Apparently, there is no fixed way to manage it and at this point, knowledge of oneself comes in very handy. The way I see, everyone has that one thing that they love so much that it gets the reenergized just at the sound or sight of it. At times we do things because we can do them but at times we do them because we want to do them. When I wake up and I am too fatigued to get up from bed, I think of that one thing that I would go to extremes for and get started on it. For instance, I understand the magnitude of this blog to the readers and especially cancer victims. The thought of giving somebody other than myself the strength to carry on one more day just melts my heart and no matter how bad things get on my end (which sometimes happens) I know that I have more than just myself to encourage. In the process of writing the blogs, I often find myself motivating me too.

In short, don’t let what you are feeling take control of your life. We all have that divine purpose we are called to accomplish and the grace for it exceeds all other graces in our lives. So take advantage of that grace and use it to generate the strength to carry you through that moment of fatigue. It works, I promise.

Pain to Purpose

When I decided to establish this blog, I began to view things from a different eye. All the pain and struggles I have faced during my time with cancer have been like a training ground for me. The pains we face in life are actually not just meant to inflict pain for the sake of it. They are more like opposing energies that are meant to propel us into the purpose for which we were brought to this earth. The term ‘beauty for ashes’ is just as literal as it sounds. We have that power to use the pain we encounter to generate new energy for accomplishing our purpose.

The day I created this blog was the day I got so tired of harboring all the energy being generated by this pain I faced. On that day, I got a place to vent it out and allowed myself to be used as a vessel to transform negative energy into positive energy. What I am trying to say is that we have that choice and that authority to decide what to give produce even though we constantly face the tough side of life. Take some time to sit down and think about how to transform that pain you face into purpose. Don’t let it build up within you because the only way to manage it is to get rid of some of the pain you hold so you can give room for transformation into something beautiful. Look at the flower, as long as the bud remains closed, the flower cannot bloom and the beauty cannot be seen. Bloom and let the beauty resulting from that pain be seen. Nobody can ignore the vibrancy of a beautiful flower. When we love a flower we water it daily so let your flower bloom so people can spot it and water it. It gets better!

Contact Me

Ask a question or have any message for me.

jenifer@gmail.com

Mind Over Mater….

Mind Over Mater….

Mind Over Matter!

Hello! Everyone

Sorry I’ve been a little slow in the blog department. I’ve had a few deaths in the family and some really bad shit going on in my life. I am planning to sit down and make a video about it.

Have you checked out my youtube channel? I have been doing my makeup and just reflecting on things on my mind. I just want everyone to feel beautiful – use a nice, bold lipstick today, wear your favorite hat or put on some of your old time fav tracks and listen to the music that made you feel beautiful.

This week I want to share this story with you I wrote – please enjoy

If you’re a cancer patient like myself or going through chronic illness, then you know the troubles—that come along with it—can often become unbearable.

If you believe that this “mind over matter” philosophy doesn’t work, then you’ve got some rethinking to do. The way you think shapes the way you live, which ultimately determines the state of your health.

Mental stability is just as important as physical stability. In fact, your mental and physical state are directly linked. How you organize your thoughts directly impacts your health.

If you don’t believe me, then allow me to change your mind by giving you 5 ways adopting the mind over matter philosophy can help you overcome any problem!

1. Positive thinking encourages better health

Have you ever thought why people with a positive outlook on life live longer?

If you didn’t know this already, what goes in your mind affects your body deeply. People who encourage positive thinking tend to not only live longer but also healthier.

So lighten up your mood and get lost in the dreamy world of happy thoughts!

2. Trick your mind into believing

If you believe in something one-hundred percent for a long time, then your body will work to make it happen. Self-hypnosis can help you lose or gain weight, quit addictions, and even manage chronic pain.

So if you believe that you will beat cancer (and you will!), your body will put up more of a fight.

Don’t wait, start believing now that you will become better and you will beat cancer. Also, surround yourself with people who encourage this kind of positive thinking.

3. Believe in a higher purpose

As I explained before, your thoughts empower you to become a better version of yourself.

People who believe in a higher purpose firmly believe they can overcome any problem. By accepting that anything is possible, they unlock powerful resilience within them.

So, if you don’t believe you have a purpose, then you better change your outlook on life.

4. Meditation never hurts

If you want to get better sleep, reduce stress, control anxiety, increase focus, have more energy, strengthen your immune system, then start meditating.

Keeping these impressive benefits in mind, it’s easy to see that the 10-20 minutes of effort spent on meditating daily pays off in the long run.

If you don’t believe me, try searching “effects of meditation” on Google. I can guarantee you won’t see even a single source that has any negative thing to say about meditation.

5. Resist negative thoughts

Negative thoughts can hurt you.

If you’re taking medication but don’t believe that it will help you, then your chances of being cured reduce significantly.

So resist negative thoughts whenever they try to creep into your mind. Try to change what you’re thinking of something that triggers happy thoughts instead of sad ones.

Mind Over Matter Can Even Help You Beat Cancer

Mind over matter is the perfect philosophy for improving your mental hygiene. If you implement the 5 ways I mentioned in your life, then you will significantly improve your chances of beating cancer.

Don’t believe me? Check out this recent study by Harvard that concludes that a healthy lifestyle helps prevent cancer.

Contact Me

Ask a question or have any message for me.

jenifer@gmail.com

A Small Quick Reminder and News….

A Small Quick Reminder and News….

A Small Quick Reminder and News

Hello! Everyone

I just wanted to thank everyone so far who has come to my blog to read my content, but I’ve just started.

I am going to start to open up about my illnesses and what I do to cope and hopefully help someone out there feel as if they can push through with it with beauty or feeling better by looking at your best.

I would really love to hear your story, I’d really love to speak with you to raise awareness about any chronic condition out there no matter how big or small you may think it seems, it’s still a battle, a battle I hope we can all support.

Please don’t forget to join my FB group With Pain Comes Beauty.

 

Contact Me

Ask a question or have any message for me.

jenifer@gmail.com

Beware If You’re Having Suicidal Thoughts

Beware If You’re Having Suicidal Thoughts

Beware If You’re Having Suicidal Thoughts

Beware If You Are Having Suicidal Thoughts

If you are experiencing a pain that you can confront with right now it is important to know that you are not alone. At some point in our lives, many of us have had suicidal thoughts. These thoughts don’t mean you are crazy, or weak, it only means you need time and support to deal with your problems and the agonizing pain and suicidal thoughts will pass.

When you are hopeless it may seem that your life is not worth living anymore, and the only way to relieve the pain is through suicide. Even though it may be hard to believe there are other options.

Try for a moment to separate your emotions from your actions. Depression and hopelessness can alter your perceptions and diminish your ability to make good decisions.

It is important to understand that with time all problems are treatable even if you are not capable of seeing options right now. I know this is not easy and you will probably not feel better overnight but eventually, your thoughts of suicide will lift.

Symptoms

Pay attention if you or any you love to show the following signs:

  • Feeling hopeless
  • Feeling extreme emotional pain
  • Having an exceptional preoccupation with dying, or death.
  • Extreme mood swings, either happy or sad
  • Thinking and talking about revenge, or guilt
  • Being extreme anxious
  • Changes in personality, or sleeping patterns.
  • Consuming drugs
  • Consuming more alcohol than usual
  • Starting to consume drugs or/and alcohol
  • Captivating in risky behavior
  • Getting your affairs in order
  • Giving away things
  • Getting a gun to end life with
  • Experiencing depression
  • Being alone and isolated
  • Talking about being a burden to others
  • Saying goodbyes to others as if it were the last time
  • Apathetic
  • Self-criticism
  • Severe remorse
  • Talking about suicide or dying

It is important to understand that many people with suicidal thoughts and feelings show no signs that anything is wrong. So if you are thinking or feeling suicidal it is very important to tell someone you trust so you can get the help you need to feel better.

No one should go through this alone if you can’t find someone to talk to, there are always people who can help you by phone and are available 24 hours 7 days a week.

Why Are You Thinking About Suicide?

The most common reason why you are thinking about suicide is that you are suffering from extreme emotional pain. The reasons for this pain are unique to each one of us and how we handle this pain varies from person to person. Remember, we are all different.

You need to understand that the extreme emotional pain you are experiencing right now makes it harder to see possible solutions to your problems or to connect with someone who can help you.

You deserve to live so talk to a therapist, counselor, friend or loved one and allow them to help you.

Although you are feeling unhappy and hopeless you need to realize that this too shall pass. You will find a solution, your feelings will change, and positive and wonderful things will occur. Don’t give a permanent solution to a temporary problem. All you need is time for things to change and the pain to go away.

Most people who seek help can recover, even if you are suffering from a mental health condition such as depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder. It can all be treated with changes in lifestyle, therapy, and medication.

Don’t give up if you have already made attempts to solve your problems, most of the time you should try different approaches before finding the right solution. We all need an ongoing process of adjustment.

All problems can be treated or resolved you only need to find the solution that works for you.

Get Help

If you are thinking about hurting yourself or attempt suicide, you must get help immediately by taking one of these actions:

  • Call your mental health provider
  • Call a suicide hotline number. In Australia, you can call Lifeline Australia at 13 11 14 or visit their websiteorg.au. You can reach a trained counselor that can help you.
  • Call your local emergency number
  • Call your doctor
  • Contact a close friend or loved one.
  • Reach out a spiritual leader in your community.

Seek Professional Help

Please, if you are having suicidal thoughts don’t try to manage things on your own. Seek professional help to overcome the problems connected to your suicidal thoughts.

Only your doctor can give you the right strategies to confront your specific situation. It is in your best interest to do all the things you advise even if you don’t feel like doing them.

For example, your doctor might tell you to talk to your friends rather than to stay in your bedroom all day. Be patient, everything will get easier once these things become habits.

Create a Written Plan

Talk to your mental health provider about creating a written safety plan that you can refer to when you are considering suicide or in a crisis. To put your plan into action you must learn to identify your warning signs as soon as they appear.

Your safety plan should be a checklist of actions you must do to stay safe when you have thoughts of suicide, such as:

  • Call your mental health provider or a crisis center to help you with your suicidal thoughts.
  • Contact a trusted family member or friend who can help you with your crisis.
  • Do activities that you enjoy when negative thoughts start, such as listen to music, watching a funny movie, going to a museum, walking, jogging, swimming, gardening or a new activity.
  • Review why your life is valuable and the reasons to live.

The best way to stop operating in a crisis mode is to get appropriate treatment so see a doctor or mental health provider even if the immediate crisis passes with your safety plan strategies.

Stick with your treatment plan and commit to taking your medications as prescribed and to go to all treatment sessions and appointments. Also, if it is necessary to remove all potential means of killing yourself such as guns, razor or other objects that may hurt or kill yourself.

Finally, as I mentioned before you don’t have to go through this alone so join a support group that can help you with your suicidal thoughts.

Lots of Love

 

Contact Me

Ask a question or have any message for me.

jenifer@gmail.com