Is it just me or is everyone really, really over this Covid – 19 pandemic situation kinda thing by now? However it is a scary time for everyone, but living with a chronic illness, loosing a loved one during this time and restrictions on attendees are very stressful, not being able to travel to see loved ones if you’re worried, having a baby even and a mental health condition causing you distress is an extra thing we have to deal with over the top of it all.
I guess majority of us consider our homes a safe haven and are at home a lot but now that were restricted to home, do you feel that you’re trapped or in prison? For me, I didn’t. I didn’t feel like I was in lockdown oddly. I enjoyed the no traffic if I had to go to the pharmacy but this isn’t a good thing. Everyone had no choice but to stay home this year during lockdowns and may actually now be more understanding of what it feels like when our health prevents us from doing anything.
As some of of us are housebound we get lonely unless you’re reading this right now (thank you!) or are doing some I encourage you enjoy such as gardening, exploring a new talent via youtube (hence how I learnt how to build websites and I am currently working on our forum) or bullet journal! However once again… now that healthy people have experienced this, it can help us explain more easily what it has been like for us forever. That this is what our normal is. This is a positive aspect that’s come out of this shitty pandemic.
May every soul that was that lost their lives to covid around the word, Gold Bless and I hope youre with your loved ones in Heaven/Paradise or anywhere your religion is is there.
To the people who caught the virus and has recovered, We wish you a speedy recovery and are happy for you.
This is a very sensitive topic for me. I HATE drugs more than anyone can imagine. I will TRY to really condense this down.
My sister, lets call her umm Sarah and I were brought up in a loving home by two parents that adored us even thought they were very very strict, especially to me because I was the eldest out of us 2. We came from the bronx of my city but my mum and dad had brought their house and my sweet was fun.
When my father passed away, I took over being “Dad” and Sarah began to hate my mum. It was so sickening hearing the words coming out of her mouth I’d tell her to quit it or I make you feel those words you are saying. To be honest, I think Sarah blames my mum in some sick and twisted way that he died and got cancer from her which is ridiculous, she was 16 when he passed away.
12 years of his passing, Sarah meets this guy. Tattoos everywhere, big muscles, very intimidating but I am an officer and a psychologist… I read straight threw and I knew he didn’t want to be at my place ( I have tattoos everywhere shhh lol but hidden) but this was when she was then she tried her first line of coke. See, not all cases of weed smokers turn into addicts like my sister.
I remember, I had just had surgery and I had a very badly complication of it. My sister took me but then told me was to visit her animals as she shares custody of her dog with her ex, who has helped me so much with her. My sister never came back to the hospital. She left me and I started to get anxious, obviously I have anxiety disorder and panic disorder big time so I went into a rage and ripped the IV out of my arm with the bloody coming down my arm and discharged myself and hopped into a taxi. My surgeon had freaked out knowing I had left in the condition I was in. Turns out my sister went to her boyfriend Mat’s house to lines and lines of coke…. and then then abuse started. She wasn’t allowed to talk to me for more that 5 minutes and I could hear him in the background saying “rap it up Sarah, I need you” That was his spell over her – I need you right now. She was thrown threw a bathroom shower screen, car windows broken…. then his little girls use o have pancake Sunday with their daddy. Daddy didn’t show uo. Her was found dead in his room OD’ on my sisters meds he placed beside him and he also slit his throat. My sister is still messup uo to this day about it till this day and she misses him like as if he was her husband.
But then she meet John. This is where the cookie crumbles for my mum and I am her only support, most of our relatives are deceased. My sister was introduced to methamphetamine and once she had that firs puff she is so so close to death.
John belts the absolute shit out of here and I wish I could show you photos but I cannot it wouldn’t be right. She’s caused so much stress on my family. Where is she? Is she alive? Police has come knocking at my door (mum) looking for Sarah again. My sister is so sick that she hits herself with wood to make the bruises stay because she wants to be a victium. She loves being a victim and wants to be sick. Every time I was diagnosed with my cancers or etc she would lie to people and tell people she had cancer too but not to tell my mum and I so we don’t worry even tho she knew it would get back to us. She’s a pathological lier, The other day she told me her lupus was flairling up? What Lupus? Can anyone confirm this? II she not caring havoc in my mums house, enough for my mum to put camera’s. My God she even told me she was kidnapped from one area to the next. I work in forensics. The harm was self inflicted as you could see bursted capillaries in her legs and arms from her drafting from one site
My father, she tells me all the time that she was his favourite one and that now he is gone she has nothing left even though we were close. I told her one day you will regret everything. You’re living at mum’s board free, I had pay board why are you so special? I shrug it off but it still kinda gets to you even though you know it’s not true. She has no sheets on a 2000$ Mattress my mum brought her and she had bread on the mattress and she was putting butter that had been in her room fir about 5 days and she made a sandwhich, the cat licked it and the days she speaks is so….. bogan. Even text messages to me are not disgusting.
Sarah lives in filth. absolute filth. My poor mum does nightshift a lot because she is a nurse and when she is at work my sister deals drugs from her home. there is just so much to write in one blog post. So I’ll leave this at Part 1 and come back and write part two.
Biggestest hugs to anyone else going through a sibling/mother / father/ brother/ wife / husband. We get so freaking angry at them buy why do we always come back to rescue them?